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as the day continues i realize that life is harder than it seems. things get really hard to understand and the weight of the world falls on my shoulders again. I'm back to the same spot I told myself I'd be okay if I got there again. but it still feels the same. It feels like I can't control it. I am noticing it now though and I am keeping my composure. I know that I am going to not stop having hope in myself. I don't want to lose that. I don't think it's a bad thing either.
It's been a minute and I'm still doing my thing I really enjoy telling other people how I'm doing and also talking to people who are going to bring me up and not down in the world. I like to be connected and it's staying that way. I am a lot more "cleaner" now. I don't like that word yet and I don't believe in it. but staying busy has something to do with it. I don't think it has anything to do with you changing?
COLORS
If I have a good day I am a blue. Someone who is otherwise is yellow. I don't like to mix sometimes because it will take me away from the color I was comfortable being. Whatever they may be going through I know that green can be and is beautiful. But, I don't want to lose who I was and become impressionable. I like to share the beauty of one another without having to sacrifice who I am as a person and have to carry that image of being labeled green now. I was a healthy blue or yellow for that matter. I'd like to stay that way after our interaction. This is called colors. I came up with the idea in group today. I hope it is insightful. Thank you. Have a good day.
July 6 Mon, 2015
6PM Today was nice I got a call from Monarch hotel for a interview tomorrow! I'm still waiting for a call from Elephants hopefully the will call if this doesn't workout. Drove with my mo to the store felt nice to spend time. I grabbed a soda. Came home ate some huevos rancheros con carne secada. it was really good with frijoles de la hoya. i took a walk to the store and bought some spiral books (2) count. Walking in this sun really calms us down. I had so much energy then when I got home I felt like I finished work! My friend wants me to record a verse on one of his so ngs, which we're currently working on -0 exciting! Just chilling watching a movie, getting ready for the interview tomorrow. 6:40 PM I started a new book an autobiography by John Stuart Mill. He's a self taught but more importantly his dad taught him a lot growing up on important subjects that had to do with life. It struck me how dominant his father role was in his life growin up in 1800's. he highl...
July 5 Sunday, 2015
July 5 Sunday, 2015 2pm At the library. I woke up showered and cleaned up a little. Writing through this blog and hopefully you guys are liking this and it helps when your out of element. I like to wish everyone a happy 4th of July weekend. I am waiting for my mom to come home. It's not the same without the love of your mother near you. It's a awkward feeling, not a bad one, a strange yet certain downsized feeling. A lot of friends from the neighborhood are coming through my mind on this day of rest. My brothers especially. I love my family very much. Pops made steak and it turned out great and didn't even need to use the grill. I can't wait to go home and "chow". Think I'll pick up a soda while I head home. 730PM Lowkey day been laying low. A rest day doing some reading. I'm not going out. Jessica text me started tripping on a bong I tripped on. Better the bong then my face. Have no income. You burn bridges when you ask for something. Oh well I gues...
The Entry
Hey everyone! I'm 23 and I'm on the "pick-up". It's been awhile since I been on here, and a lot has been changing in a good way. From here on out I will be posting private journal entries with an occasional opinion or thought. I'm thankful for anyone and everyone who takes the time to read this blog and I'll try to not be as biased as I can, PBS stilo! Please feel free to comment and leave your own opinions (those are cool). Take care. July 1 Wed, 2015 Busy Weekend, mom is going to AZ tomorrow. I can feel the tension rising as days pass with no response to the letters I've sent to my brother and friend. From my whereabouts my family is good. I feel like I should try to stay in touch more - be more involved. Speaking of moving on - I have a interview with Elephants tomorrow. Sounds like a good fit. I can hardly sleep and stay awake at the same time. I feel like a zombie. I need this break. I don't want my loved ones thinking bad of me. I don't...
Wow, I have not came on this thing for a long time and quite frankly, don't even know if people still look at this! Well let's catch up where I am at in my life... hmm.. I'm 20 and I guess I'm in that transitiion point of life where I am trying to decide on what I want to do with my life from here on out. I have a very mature good girlfriend who loves me to death and we are both thinking about a family and the future. As of right now I am ready to man up and take responsibility if I have a family and I want to take care of them like the only way I know how. I went to a couple of terms of college and that didn't work out so well probably because I didn't know what I wanted to do with my career. I took accounting and let me tell ya, it was so boring. I'm really interested with art and music. I have a creative mind and I would really like to use it but I'm scared that there is no life in it? (money). Every day that passes by I think of how I am wasting my t...
Realization.
I am so confused with how the earth is working right now.. I feel very selfish and secluded from the outside world. My mom, our parents, have been right all along-"people would die for what you have in other parts of the world".. but, do our parents even know how bad it is first hand? Grateful my parents come from a rural low income part of Mexico so they can share the struggles outside of my world. What is going on? We are doing business with a communistic government and feeding our people garbage in order to make a quick buck in this society called free enterprise. The power of the almighty dollar, what a joke. Instead of focusing on our people's self discipline and values the government is focusing on freaking money!!!!!!! This whole thing went out the window when society decided that politics were above ethics! Is this what it comes down to, our world, our life is determined by a buck? I don't understand it... we are better off not knowing reality but if one day y...
Realization.
I am so confused with how the earth is working right now.. I feel very selfish and secluded from the outside world. My mom, our parents, have been right all along-"people would die for what you have in other parts of the world".. but, do our parents even know how bad it is first hand? Grateful my parents come from a rural low income part of Mexico so they can share the struggles outside of my world. What is going on? We are doing business with a communistic government and feeding our people garbage in order to make a quick buck in this society called free enterprise. The power of the almighty dollar, what a joke. Instead of focusing on our people's self discipline and values the government is focusing on freaking money!!!!!!! This whole thing went out the window when society decided that politics were above ethics! Is this what it comes down to, our world, our life is determined by a buck? I don't understand it... we are better off not knowing reality but if one day y...
